Post-Modern Emergent

I travel approximately 4 minutes to work everyday.
I drive down Erbsville Road and go in the back way to the Westvale subdivision.
Before I reach my destination there is a round-a-bout precisely in the middle of my journey.
This doesn't bother me. I would rather go in the round-a-bout then wait for a light.
However, I am not too sure if Kdub took the time to explain the proper round-a-bout etiquette. This being that everyday I get cut off or someone decides to drive in the opposite direction of the one way signs.
Is it really that hard?
If you are one of those people with negligent driving habits;
click here
Step 2: repeat, "I am a dumb ash"

Dancin' Shoes

Gavin DeGraw
I've been listening to this guy for the past year and a bit and I will tell ya that I love his voice. Check out his site...

That's the best fire I've seen all day!

Today marks the finale of the Queen Vic's Birthday long weekend. Instead of still being in Grand Bend I am sitting here in front of my PC in a towel and utterly annoyed at the waft of bonfire that is still encompassed in my hair.
The past weekend was fun even the flat tire, the punk kids who drink too much, get arrested and kicked out, the freezing cold night time and how no matter how many layers you have on you are not warm enough can't get me down. I am so rustic.
Last night as one last salute to the overcrowded nature of this town that usually inhabits 12,000 people and in the summer and weekends of the sort triples this number I cruise down the "strip" and am most definitely laughing out loud. Cars parked on either side of the road with blaring music, Civics so souped up that they have Lamborghini doors and ground effects. Can it get much better than that?
Though the atmosphere seemed rather obnoxious there is something refreshing about a large group of people gathered for a specific purpose. That being; to see who can do the dumbest thing inebriated in the entire village.

Force? What the @#$% is the Force?

I assume that a bunch of you reading this braved the lines at the movie theatre to see the new Star Wars movie. Not I...Why you ask? Because I have only seen Episode 4. Meaning the only information I know at this point is that Ben Kinobe is dead and that Darth Vadar is Luke's Father. Hence the quote that has been around since the 80's.
I will soon know the ending of this forever long saga that seems to be engulfing our culture as a huge marketing phenomenon. All I need is 10 hours of interrupted time and a date to the movies...
Enough with the pastel coloured M&M's...

No, I don't want to see your light sabre

Turns out that I am bi-polar. Also, that I am taking a cocktail of medication to manage my various emotional disorders.
At least that is what a guy I used to work with said about me to my fellow employees before I left for the year.
Why are my hands shaking and why do I keep seeing gnomes in the corners of my bedroom?

Worthless Pedicure

Today marks the day of another one of my grandioso schemes where I forget what it is like to walk from place to place without falling.
Yes, today I fell down 5 wooden stairs onto asphalt and laid there contemplating my life and if it was actually worth me getting up over. It was only 8:45 am which threw me for a loop, plus I was carrying a piece of paper which likely put me completely off balance.
The sad part is there is no funny story. No parable of me falling over a large ant farm, a small child or into a puddle. All I did was fall down stairs, rip the knee of my jeans, ruin my pedicure plus bruise and lacerate my knee.
I want my mom and friends that don't laugh at me.

Stay...American Baby...

I would be totally okay with having Dave Matthew's children. Check out his new album "Stand Up" folks...It's in stores today!

What the What?

I don't know anything about the logistics of manure spreading but it seems that Waterloo has smelled fabulously bad lately of manure and it's getting rather annoying.
Back in the Narnia days I went to visit Melville Pig Farm with my grade 3 class. They were spraying liquid manure.
What a shitty day.

Everything gets hotter when the sun goes down...

Reasons how I know that summer is coming;
1. There is an excess amount of roadkill
2. I get to sleep with less blankets on my bed
3. I can smell the sweet aroma of pot while I am walking down the street
4. Girls clothes are getting tighter and shorter and practically non-existant
5. Kdub mullets are looking more groomed
6. People in the Jeep cult are waving to each other and making us wish we had one too
7. People are walking down the street drinking beer thinking that it's legal
8. Couches are randomly appearing on front lawns
9. The canoe trip is approaching!!!
10. When it gets dark couples are making out in Waterloo Park
11. There is a significant amount of dog poo on my front lawn
12. People don't get TO'd at a father away parking spot at Walmart

Mr and Mrs Fournie looking all nice and stuff 

Oh no, not you again!

Last year I made the mistake of forgetting to call my mother on Mother's Day. My dad called me the next day to tell me that I was "more than likely the worst daughter ever."
My mom cried and I of course apologized for my negligent behaviour.
Today I have notes written in my apartment, car and work. If I forget again I am so screwed.

Toasters and Tuesdays

Sometimes I feel like I am the only one not having sex.
Shopping might help.

My one piece of flare

I have a small confession to make. I am slightly embarrassed about this entry because I guarantee that my little sister will tell my mom.
Hurrah....Happy Mum's day Ma:)
Yesterday I was out with the girls. Girls that is being Patrick's beautiful and funny wife and my two previous roommates Phaythe and Michelle who are you also rather beautiful and witty themselves.
Both of those girls would say that they know that I am a self inflicted drama queen. Even if it's not all that bad it ends up being the "worst thing ever, or the worst day ever..ever!" I think this is subconscious and I am not too sure why I do it. But hey, it makes my life way more exciting.
Back to the driving. I was taking the Bridgeport exit on the 85 and you know how the lane becomes non existent in about 2 seconds when you have to merge? Well dude driving in his huge van comes plowing down the lane and was not going to let me in at all. I was pretty ticked. I almost had to pull over on the gravel cause he was fully pushing me off the road. Well as he is passing me I was frustrated and totally TO'd so I gave him the finger. Yes, me, Amanda Lee Fournie gave him the finger. I didn't even think about it. It just happened. I have never, ever done that before and it was weird cause it was one of those reactions that just happen. For example; yelling "perv" to a 50 year old construction worker who whistles while you are walking down the street. I felt bad only because I am not an advocate of the "f bomb." I don't like it and I don't say it. However, given the right circumstance it seems to be rather funny. After a good embarassed laugh with the girls in the car the van found itself driving right beside me on the expressway. I didn't look over cause I was sure that he was gonna return the favour that I had shown him.
Phaythe was in the front seat and looked over to see this big scary man with a bald head and pony tail, looking all redneck she says. I didn't look over. He slows down right next to us and fully flips us back the bird for a good thirty seconds as we're merging into the 401 lane - As in he kept driving/looking at us while holding out his finger in our direction.
How is it that I did nothing wrong but dude seemed to want to retaliate from HIS bad behaviour?
He was probably in a hurry to get his van a good spot down by the river.

Floss Nation

I understand my profile picture is gross. However, if this is what it takes to encourage proper oral hygiene to the nation at large then darn it, this is what has to be done!
Just be thankful that this specific pair of teeth is not yours.

Amanda - Technologically Retarded

I think that I need someone to be my personal assistant. I can't remember how to hook up my own compter, DVD player or how to deal with vulnerabilities that TrendMicro tells me to deal with. I can ignore them right?
Countdown till my computer gets really mad and won't turn on - 4.5 days

My Fabulous Sisters

Middle Child Disposition

I remember when I was younger wanting to totally demoralize my sisters' toothrushes.
Like use them to scrub the toilet, rub it on the mildew in the shower, and put soap on it...you know the regular stuff. But I just thought it. I knew what would supercede if I actually followed through with my destructive thoughts. Meaning I was a little bit of a sissy.
Since I am a middle child I got into an almost religious habit of smelling my toothbrush before using it in the morning. I was a little terrified of the "wrath of the Fournie sisters" to be honest.
Turns out that my sisters did this almost everyday to my toothbrush. Which they so graciously admitted over dinner this weekend.
How is it that I didn't taste it? Seriously, Sarnia toilet water? How did I not realize?

Miss Teen Holstein

Yesterday while visiting my parents I was hit with a deterrent in my sleeping in / get a pedicure schedule. I wake up and find out that I have to babysit. Me? babysit? Exactly. I hated it when I was 12 and I was pretty sure that I hated it now. It was almost a guarantee that it would be torturous. I went to the movies with one of my clients last week and sat behind a row of 12 year old girls who every other word consisted of "oh my gosh, like are you like serious?" This incident reaffirmed in my mind that it was going to be the most painful event of my weekend.
I walk downstairs and am greeted by a cute little girl who goes to my parents church. She was deceiving I assumed because every little girl is cute at first glance then you cross her path and find out that she is like the chickens with really large talons.
"Hey kid what you wanna do?"
"Hey Amanda, can we watch a movie"
"What do you wanna watch Kayla?"
" I dunno, something good, Mrs. Doubtfire maybe?"
"Ok, sure, I can dig it, I'll get it ready for you then I will shower"
"Cool"
So I made it through the movie, made it through the first half of the morning with no complaints. I was pleasantly surprised.
We get in my car and head to the next stop. Miss Teen and Ardene at the mall. I was ecstatic. Spending an hour in an overpriced store full of crap.
As we walk through the mall she grabs my hand and says
"Amanda, this is the most fun I have had ever!"
There it was. The most exciting, shocking twist on every reality show was crossing over into my life. She was convinced that I was "like, the most coolest person ever." Which is rightfully true.
The Miss Teen adventure flies by and we take a short jaunt around town to make it to my pedicure appointment on time.
" I decided that I am going to get married at 21 cause I need to know him for a long time before I marry him"
"Really Kayla, wow, when is this dating going to start?"
" Well, I think 13 is good. "
"How old are you right now again?"
"Eight"
"Oh"
" A boy is calling me, we aren't going out or anything but we talk to each other on the phone and email. My mom says that's okay but no funny business."
"What is funny business?"
" Amanda you know what funny business is."
" I also realized that if you are dating someone you shouldn't change for him. This guy on Oprah tried to do that to his girlfriend. I think that's ridiculous. Sometimes Oprah is just inappropriate though. You can't trust everything she says"
" That's true Kay, you shouldn't change for him"
" Amanda you should only marry him if he respects his mom and you."
" Yer right Kayla"
" You're 16 so you have a while to wait. Let me know when you think of getting married and I can help you out."
As they say....out of the mouths of babes. I might have to babysit more often to get more of this fabulous dating advice. Or buy a cat. Babysitting it is.