I have come to surmise that I don't think I know how to be serious. (Yes again) My humour drips with sarcasm and I don't take life quite as seriously and I think I should.
However, I love to laugh, I do love to engage in conversations with my friends that require me to be the only one with no tact.
I love honesty and I love being uncomfortable. Only because in those times I am forced to re evaluate me and what exactly my true actions are as well as what I was trying to get across in the first place.
I am in a place right now that I haven't felt in awhile. At the end of the beginning, or the beginning of the end or something. Either or, I am in purgatory, awaiting for decisions to be made for me so I can move on with this thing called life I assume.
It's a little weird having to move again. I feel like I am going back in time. I left waterloo trying to defeat the feeling of stagnation and boredom and instead of my supposed defeat I am walking right back to where I was before.
It's kinda exciting, things here in the GTA have changed me. They have caused me to rethink what exactly it is that I want and how exactly I am going to get it.
I would like to say that the decisions and circumstances and of course my fabulouso marks:) were that of the result of me being wise but I am not totally sure. Cause there were times when I felt like I was gonan crash and burn.
Right now is probably the most "unspiritual" I have felt in a long time. And I am fine with that.
The only reason why I am comfortable with taking a short stop accompanied by apathy is because I know that without it I would not be close to being human.
Tom Morris, a wise man I might add, has given me more insight in one conversation than any other human being on earth. One time I was sitting with a group of people who just wanted to soak in his leadership. Me, I was there for the hot guys. I just got more than what I bargained for ;)
Someone asked him, " How can I be a Christian example to my friends if I don't even read my own Bible?"
His response was the first time that I heard anyone swear when it came to talking about God.
He replied; "Who gives a damn?" This will sound completely unbiblical, but I don't think that God did. All I wanted was to be the best Christian I could be. And that action was completely fake. How not cool is that?
His words were the most refreshing and authentic thing that I have ever heard come out of any pastor's mouth. Everyone else would of slapped us all on the hand wondering why we wanted to be leaders if we weren't reading the word of God consistantly. And labelling us post-modern, then spending the next 15 minutes showing off our tattoos:)
I am not saying that it gives me an excuse to not spend time with God but because of his comment. I was led to read his word because I wanted to, not because I had to get to the next step of John Maxwell's 21 Irrefutable laws to make myself successful.
I write this because this has been on my mind a lot lately and more that I am glad that I am human. Even more thankful that I have emotions that I am allowed to express in many forms and still continue to be loved anyway....
Sometimes I wonder how murky my heart looks to Him...
3 comments:
Tom Morris.
I like him.
I think that he said who gives a damn, because he was trying to say that it's not our knowledge of the bible that will be a Christian exmaple to our friends. So stop freaking out trying to make sure you read your bible for ten minutes a day so your witness is intact, who gives a damn about that.
Good post, Amanda. I think that when spirituality becomes more about rules and timetables and what movies you're not watching, we've lost the point. I think that spirituality is thoroughly about life and learning more and more that we're okay and that we can relax in the love of the divine. I'm not saying there's not responsibility, but I just think we miss the point when spirituality becomes a question of how many minutes a day I'm reading my Bible.
Good post.
One of the most frustrating things I have encountered when dealing with Christians has always been the expectation of false piety. I don't think your faith is measured by what kind of music you like or how often you read your Bible or how involved you are in your church. Those are all things that will flow from your faith, rather than determining how faithful you are.
I'm glad you look at things the way you do, rather than tritely saying, "What would Jesus do?" or spouting some other ridiculous catch phrase.
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